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Relationship Therapy

Relationship Therapy2018-09-26T18:44:56+00:00

Do You Feel Like No One Understands You?

Although you have friends, family members, and/or a partner, do you feel as though you lack deep, intimate connections? Do you feel unable to be your true self in relationships? Perhaps it seems like no one listens or tries to understand your point of view. Even though your heart is in the right place, you may feel persistently in conflict with someone. Does it seem like people are always ganging up on you or twisting your words to make you look like “the bad guy”? Maybe you struggle to trust people because, at some point, they all turn on you or leave. Are you frustrated with shallow relationships and confused about what keeps going wrong? Do you wish you could find a true connection with someone who really sees, hears, and accept you for who you are?

girl lying on tree branch with book covering her face

As you struggle to build healthy relationships, you likely feel increasingly defeated, angry, and exhausted. You may dedicate a great deal of energy toward cultivating the right relationships, career, lifestyle, and appearance. But, even when you’re drained by ongoing efforts to belong, you may feel unrecognized, unappreciated, and deeply alone. At the same time, attempts to have honest, meaningful conversations may inevitably lead you to feel hurt, judged, and abandoned. Perhaps you don’t understand why you can’t find where you belong.

Many People Struggle To Build Meaningful Relationships

No one is born knowing how to build relationships. In Beverly Hills especially, it’s common to have what looks like a thriving social life on the outside but feel isolated and lonely inside. Like many others, you might feel uncomfortable spending time alone, but also feel dissatisfied with friends, family members, and other loved ones. No matter what you try, there’s always something missing.

In truth, before you can form the deep, healthy relationships you crave, you must form an honest, loving relationship with yourself. In a safe, nonjudgmental space that’s entirely devoted to you, you can feel validated in your experience, better understand your emotions, and develop the tools needed to express your best self to the world.

Relationship Therapy Can Help You Find Meaning and Lasting Connection

I understand how painful feeling isolated and misunderstood can be. As a therapist, my first priority is creating a space where you feel heard and accepted. Each session is centered on your needs, fears, hurts, and hopes. As we explore your interpersonal issues and desires, I will be fully present with you. If you’re ready to be honest, open, and curious, I’m here to help you discover and nurture your authentic self.

woman shaking Doberman pawDuring relationship therapy sessions, you can express your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection. I can help you understand that your feelings are never wrong. Your experiences of anger and sadness are real and valid. Together, we can investigate these emotions and explore how they arise. Then, in a neutral, accepting space, you can examine how interpretations of experiences may stem from negative beliefs about relationships or yourself. For example, if you believe that everyone will abandon you, you may sense rejection when it’s not really there. As we trace your emotions to their roots, we can experiment with shifting perspectives and then examine how your emotions change. As you become able to see with fresh eyes, you can begin to move through the world with a new sense of openness and trust.

With respect and care, I can also help you understand your role in relationship conflict and how others might experience you. For example, when you sense rejection, do you lash out and say hurtful things? By examining how you react to others, especially when you feel hurt, you can gain clarity around your behavior, take note of what isn’t working, and make positive changes. With the right support and guidance, it’s possible to align your inner self with your outer actions, better regulate distressing emotions, navigate communication in relationships, and foster lasting connection.

Since 2011, I have been helping people form healthier relationships with themselves and others. As you learn about respecting and setting boundaries in relationships, you can feel a greater sense of connectedness and joy and become more empowered to make positive changes. It is possible to feel more fulfilled, even in moments of solitude. With help, you can cultivate greater resilience and find peace.

You may have questions or concerns about therapy for relationships…

If people in my life can’t see or hear the real me, how can you?

I can only know as much as you let me. But, if you are willing to be real and open with me, you can trust that I will do the same with you. If you are ready to reveal your authentic self, I am ready to help you feel seen and heard.

If I sense we’re not making progress, we can address that and explore what might be getting in the way. If you move through life heavily guarded, you will likely bring those defenses into session. But, therapy is a safe place for you to start bringing those walls down and feel comfortable being honest and vulnerable.

Everyone already thinks I’m the crazy one. If I go to relationship therapy, I’ll just prove them right.

Unfortunately, in our culture, there is a stigma around mental health. However, engaging in therapy does not mean you are broken or inadequate. It simply means you want to make improvements. We all want to strengthen our relationships and be happy. In that regard, seeking relationship help is like going to the dentist for a maintenance cleaning. It’s simply part of what you do to take care of yourself, and there’s no shame in that.

group of friends on bench leaning on each otherYou’ll judge and blame me like everyone else.

In order for therapy to be effective, we must first build a genuine relationship. Judgment and blame have no place in our work together. It’s an honor and a privilege to sit with you and deeply investigate your true self.

I understand what it’s like to feel accomplished—that you’ve met every external marker of success—but still feel empty and misunderstood. That’s a lonely place to be. But, you don’t have to remain stuck. The real you deserves encouragement and acceptance.

You Deserve Support

If you’re ready to make changes, I’m ready to help. Please click “Contact Me” to schedule a free 30-45-minute phone consultation so we can find out if I can be of assistance to you. You can ask any questions you may have about relationship therapy and my practice in Beverly Hills, CA.

Speak With Dr. Selkirk Now – Call (424) 421-4514